Thursday, December 23, 2010

The good, the bad, the ugly & the good!


9 days left to the year of 2011! I am still here, in Ottawa! So many things changed since last year… so many things…

We started this year staring into each other’s eyes, exchanging ‘I love you’ and ‘Happy New Year’. What a happy time! I didn’t want that moment to end. I didn’t want that love to end. We were both madly in love. Love was beautiful. Loving you was a comfort. I felt secure. But… but it all ended. Loving you is painful now. You are just a memory now. It’s as if you never existed. This will be the last time I’m writing about you. I did everything in my power to make it work, even after I left you; however, … I am just tired of giving while not getting anything back. Happy New Year, my old love! I will always love you, always! Let’s forgive, forget & move on with our lives.

I am feeling extremely happy. I am extremely pleased with my life. And this is the first time ever I feel this way. 2010 started wonderful, different setting, but it was wonderful. Then it got bad and then ugly. However, it all changed at the end. I’m ending the year of 2010 with many achievements. 2010 was a year of schooling. So many things I learned about myself, life, love, etc. It was the year of the good, the bad, the ugly & the good.

Goodbye, 2010! Hello, 2011! Life is beautiful! Life is meaningful again. There’s light at the end of this tunnel. And I’m looking forward to seeing what’s awaiting me.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Why?


Alright! It's been a struggle again. Why am I feeling like this again? Why am I still thinking about you? I don't think you even remember my name. I love you. I hate you. I really wanna see you. I don't want to see you ever again. I want to hold you one more time. I want to smell you. I want to feel you, just one more time. I want to look into your eyes, just one more time. Do you even care I am crying right now as I'm writing this? I am hurting... I am hurting so bad, and I don't know what to do. I can't even make myself feel better. I can't even help myself.

I want to move on with my life. I don't want you in my thoughts. I don't want you in my dreams. I don't want to have any feeling, good or bad, for you. I am still hurting... Why do I still love you?

Why?