A year into evaluation

October 2nd, 2009...

It was when I left Toronto for Ottawa. It's been exactly a year now. 365 days passed by, and how quickly it was! It was quite a year. It was a year full of happiness, sadness, loss, dedication, sharing, passion, love, hate, joy, misery, achievement, failure, understanding, misunderstanding, forgiveness, madness, and the list goes on.

I came here with an empty picture frame but with hope and new goal, dream, and expectation. I moved to this new city. I started a new job. I started a new life. I had a new family. I lived in a new house. It's been exactly a year now. 365 days passed by, and how quickly it was. I am looking back at the year. The picture frame is still empty. The old hope, goal, dream, and expectation are faded. But I don't feel empty-handed. I learned a lot. It was quite a learning year. It was a year of change.

I learned a lot about myself. I learned how uncomfortable I was to express myself in words from time to time. Steve, my boss said it was because I was artsy. I didn't like that, so I decided to change that about myself. I'm not fully there yet, but at least it's better now. I can express myself in my writing. I can put them in words. I learned how prejudgment I could be from time to time, so I decided to change that. And the result was looking at people differently, getting to know more people, and feeling better about myself at the end of the day. I learned I compromised a lot. I learned I lowered my goal and future for other means. I learned I needed to be more futuristic while enjoying the presence. I learned I was the only one who could make myself happy. So I had to change those about myself.

While I learned more about myself, I learned more about my family, friends, and the people around me. I learned how amazing my family/friends were. I learned that those were the people that I could always count on no matter where I'd be. During the past year they kindly offered me their time, their energy, and their support in the time of needs. They listened to my laughter, my crying, my happiness, my sadness. What a beautiful support system! In addition, I learned more about the beautiful people I met in the past year in Ottawa. The people who barely knew me but offered me help when I was desperate.

Moving here also gave me the opportunity to learn more about the mother nature. In the past year, I was more exposed to organic products and healthy eating. I learned a lot about farming and agriculture, one of topics that always interested me. I learned a lot about astronomy. I learned more about the earth, sky, sea, ocean, animals, etc. I saw so many beautiful towns. I experienced a farmer's lifestyle. And now I have highly respect for those people. I learned how beautiful this country was and how little I knew about it.

It was a learning year. It was a year of change. My picture frame is still empty, but I don't feel empty-handed. I have new goals and expectations:

1. I'm finishing my children's book which I've already started by the end of this year or earlier.

2... the rest I won't say here but I wrote them down somewhere else.